In their growing process, kids can possibly make mistakes. Afraid that kids will make that mistake again, many parents use strict methods like physical or verbal punishments to warn them. By doing that, parents are missing their chance to help kids self-aware easily.
All parents need to do is waiting for their kids to calm down. After that, ask them these eight questions.
1. What happened?
Let your kids explain. Don’t judge the situation based on your perception only. Especially, never scold them immediately.
Letting them have the chance to explain for themselves can make them trust you as a listening parents. Even if it’s really they This can make them understand what they’re wrong at so that they won’t do it again.
2. How do you feel?
Let them talk their emotion out.
After learning what happened, don’t jump into your lesson right away. Kids know when they are getting into troubles, so the moment you see what’s wrong, they’ll start to feel scared.
Therefore, each and every reaction of them to your scold or explain is temporary and they may forget it right after. Just ask your kids how they truly feel. This is a signal to them that you care about them more than the trouble they got into.
3. What do you want?
Even if they say some shocking things, don’t freaked out. Ask them the fourth question.
4. So do you have any plan for that?
Show them that you respect their ideas and wishes. Just consider what they want and come up with plans to execute it instead of limit them what to do and what don’t. By doing that, everytime they have problems, they may want you to help them.
5. What are the consequences?
Let them know all the consequences they may have to face if they go on with their plan. By doing this, kids can consider each solution themselves without being affected by adults’ prejudices.
Simply tell them and let them think by themselves.
6. What’s your decision?
After consider every solutions, kids can pick their own choice. This mostly are the most proper solution. Even their choice doesn’t like what you have expected – respect it. Give them your credit.
And if they did it wrong, it’s OK. Kids can learn from their mistake so that they will never have that kind of mistake again.
7. What do you want me to do?
Your support is their anchor. This helps boost their confidence and trust in family members.
After everything is done, ask them the last question.
8. Next time what will you do?
After all, kids will know what is best for their problems, what to do and what don’t. They will remember this better than any lesson or punishment from parents because this is what they learn from their red-handed experience.
Many parents think that because of their age, kids can’t handle the problems themselves. In fact, learning to cope with problems in life can build their critical thinking and flexibility in any situation.
So, next time when kids have some mistakes, ask them these 88 questions. Practice makes perfect. Time after time, kids will learn how to do it all by themselves and have trust in parents. Isn’t it the most important things?
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